To you.

Dear future husband. It's amazing to think that I can look up at the sun, or the sky, or the stars, and know that somewhere you see the same ones. It's crazy. And it almost scares me, because I have to question if you see them with the same interest and beauty that I do.

I'm scared that you aren't going to appreciate my past. That that's all you see. Or what if, because I want to be an actress, I decide I don't have time for a marriage, and so I wind up never meeting you?

I'm scared of telling you all of my fears, my thoughts. I'm scared of giving you my heart. I'm worried that it won't be enough for you. Because it isn't whole anymore.

Sometimes I wonder if my heart is even there at all.

People have told me recently that I have a pure and beautiful heart. But I don't see it, if only they knew half of the things I've done. And you will have to learn those things on our journey through life together.

I;m terrified that I'll lose you. And I fear that that fear will control my mind and my heart as it did with Daniel.

I'm scared that I won't be satisfied with you. Because, I'm never happy in one thing for too long. I think that's part of the reason I want to be an actress. Because I get to experience so many different aspects of life. And what if you don't respect that?

What if I can't give you children? That's the number one thing I want the most, and I'm worried I won't be able to give them to you. And I will end up having to tell you the reason why.

I'm afraid to lose you and you aren't even mine to lose yet. Because at the same time that I have all of these fears, I pray and desperately hope that you will look past them and see what I truly want, and what I truly need, because, I know you'll be the only person who does so. The only person who will love me unconditionally. They only person who lets me vent about me once in awhile. The only person to understand.

I ask God every day to send you my way. But then I realize that I'm not ready for you. Because I'm hardly ready for myself.

-Taylor