So since Lost ended this year, I have been on a hunt to find my new favorite show. And after watching the first whole season of Glee within a week, I've concluded that it is now my favorite. Everything about it is awesome. The music, the characters, everything. Especially Chris Colfer as Kurt Hummel.
But also, it breaks my heart. Because they are doing everything I can only dream about. I long to be on a TV Show, and sing my heart out. And it makes me realize how far away that dream really is. And I just want to cry. I want to be an actress more than anything, and it's becoming more and more of a realization for me. I want to get out there and do it, but there's the lack of money, the lack of confidence. I love to sing, but I feel like I can't. And I know if I got out there to let my voice be heard I would probably be laughed at and then shot down.
I feel like it's never my turn to shine. I always let my friends do that. And I may sound selfish, but I would like to be noticed too. I'm so jealous of all of the actors on Glee. They're all remarkable! Their voices, their faces, their confidence, their talents. It almost seems unfair. And it makes me angry at myself for not being able to get out there and do it.
I wish my dad had more faith in me. Because he doesn't. He doesn't want me to act. And because he doesn't want me too, I've had to wait years to get out there and do it. Now, in 8 months, I'll be 18, and my chance to be a teen actor in the films or on TV will have been shot down. I mean, I'm still going to go for it, I hope, but I would have liked to start early.
Sigh.
I'm listening to "Rose's Turn" aka, "Kurt's Turn" and I couldn't agree with him more.
I told you Glee was wonderful!!!!!! =D
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, you father is just looking out for you. Although acting is awesome, there is a lot more that comes with all of that than what you see on the screen. Also, there is a lot more struggles that you are going to have to face.
ReplyDeleteSecond of all, speak life into yourself. I know, I am struggling with the "self doubt" stuff too concerning my dreams, but you HAVE to speak life. (:
Third, why the rush? Yes, I know that most actors/actresses start at a younger age, but remember that there is a timing to all things, God's timing. You may think that you are too late, but you are exactly where you need to be. So chill, don't count down the days, live in today and not tomorrow.
LOVE YOU KID! :D