Today was frightening. Most of you know that I've never been real mother daughter with my mom. She always makes promises she doesn't keep. She always talks about herself, and she can be just plain annoying sometimes. Not to mention rude.
But today I realized how much I truly loved her. We were sitting in my room talking and such, and she was sitting in a wooden chair with her feet propped up on my desk. And then suddenly, she jerked off the chair, and I mean JERKED off the chair, falling to the ground and her eyes were rolling back in her head. She was shaking, and she wouldn't answer me. I ran out to get my dad but she called me back in. She told me she didn't want him to know. I sat with her on the ground. She was shaking so bad, and my heart was racing. Because I realized at that moment that if she died, I wouldn't have gotten the chance to tell her I loved her. I haven't said it in so long. She ended up being okay, but I know its her cancer. She doesn't have insurance or the money to see a proper doctor. And the cancer has been with her for thirteen years. Its a type where it takes that long to develop, and it's too hard to stop once its there.
Its a frightening thing. And I just had to get my feelings out.
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